Im too empty for tears ....

even a whisper threatens to deafen me ..and yet i cant hear a thing from all those thoughts running in my mind ...im lonly ..very lonly ....only a shadow in the depths of memory

The memory of whom ? i ask ..wonder ..imagine ............

nothing kills me more than being alive ...bitterness and sweet little tears mixed to a strange ambosia ...the nectar of it all is made by wanting to fall ...

i wish i could scream or maybe even show some form of human inside me but im allready gone ...the mask of a corpse fills the place where once a face lived ..no smiles are seen ...only the emptyness of the skull like sockets that hide eyes behind those great shadows of sleepless nights ....

someone please hold me ..just hold me ..let me feel that im not alone in this endless corridor without doors ..hold me and whisper that this is just a bad dream into my ears ...

a kiss to the forehead like when we are small ...close my eyes and let me sleep ..one last kiss and im six feet deep .....look into my eyes and you can see the shatters of my soul

hold my hand and help me be that man ..who looks pain in the eye and with a smile will stand

i dont want to carry on like this ..craving waiting regretting

life has lost its meaning ..death has lost its romance ..what should i do? ....sorrow fills my heart when i see myself ..there´s never a me and you its allways me and my lonlyness well lonlyness is a steady companion but i must say that i long for love ..as it once existed in my life ...before i lost my smile ...and all those feeling became reduced to two sides of emotion in thereself

Sadness and Hate  ...i hate the fact that im angry at myself ...and at things i go through now ..if were never angry in the past i wouldnt be sad today ...

Only the stars havent forsaken me ..and yet i gaze into them and cannot forget what pain the past has brought apon me ...is it worth carrying on?

i ask and ask but find no answer ...

please hold my hand untill its over ....Dont visit my grave ..please dont bother

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