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Panic Attack ( A Nonet).
By The girl with the thorn in her side on 03/07/2017
Viewed: 113
Reviews: 3


Written by deadmanseeking  (3/8/2017 12:47:21 PM)

Well explained and follows the form. thx

Good effort 

Written by DiMack  (4/19/2017 3:04:16 AM)

You have described the internal feeling of a panic attack but haven't really caught the terror of a true episode. You give the plot away in the title and in the first word of L1, when a more subtle approach might have drawn the reader into the heart of the poem.
There's a distinct lack of imagery like sweat, palpitations, fear of death, dizziness and a host of other symptoms. You touch on breathlessness, which is good, but quite common to many situations. It needs a supporting image. Breaking on prepositions tends to weaken a poem but perhaps with such a restricting form it's virtually unavoidable.That said, the form is adhered to very well and there is a logical progression. Speaking of which, "logically" has 4 syllables, giving you a 9 syll' L2, and even though you've elided it to 8 syll's IE 'Logiclly' it stands out. Easy enough to fix, I'd have thought.
Great choice of subject.

Panic Attack (A Nonet) 

Written by wordsrus  (8/10/2017 5:45:53 PM)

I like this and will check out the (Nonet) form more thoroughly.

-I am logically unconscious,- pulled me into the feelings of a panic attack even if I hadn't seen the title. So the title might have been less specific.

This is a Cracker Jack ending from "Time does not weaken" on, especially because it diminishes in wording while describing a crescendo of deep anxiety!

Good writing.

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