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Its over[challange 5 ]
By flanders on 01/29/2011
Viewed: 177
Reviews: 6

its over challenge 5 

Written by lindaseaver  (1/30/2011 8:40:28 AM)

very dramatic lots of feeling and emoition
liked the part about the mascara


No Rating
Written by mwhousemouse  (1/30/2011 10:23:22 AM)

Thee times read - I must read some more before deciding how well your morning picture paint brush stroked in gloom fits the challenge genre. I am researching this form now & have a lot to learn. Though drawn to this piece, I do struggle a little to discover the rhythm. Will be reading more I am sure.
Thanks Michael


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Written by Red Roses and Wine  (1/31/2011 9:25:09 AM)

The element of departure is there.

The morning element is there as well.

Now, the element of the watchman advising them of departure is missing at least to me. -Unless I didn’t captured it.

The dialogue aspect here is more of a monologue but I’ll take it.

All in all, this is a modified Audabe with a touch of break up, rather than temporary departure.

But these challenges are meant to teach us and me fun at the same time. I can see you enjoyed this challenge and it is always good to see you in this forum but specially to read your work; which by the way seems to be getting better and better.

vodka mind 

No Rating
Written by JinglesMcFeelgood  (1/31/2011 9:14:19 PM)

I like it. I like the phrase: My vodka mind.

Reading Again & then Again 

No Rating
Written by mwhousemouse  (1/31/2011 10:50:20 PM)

& then Jessica's review brought me back to read again. It is nothing new. I often read poetry again & again because I love the different ways it makes me feel & think each time.
Tonight reading this piece it fell in place. Why? I have no answer. But after reading this time I have more questions & that, I, also love.
I am still studying this " aubade" form by searching for as many examples as I can find. I see this example ( having read several times more since my above comments) to address an element I believe to be a common thread. The allusion of pleasure, fun, frivolity, nocturnal pleasures, what ever in contrast to arriving day an allusion for a return to mundane responsibilities. Not all pieces I have read exhibit all the criteria (many are not even about romance) but they all seem to speak of the struggle between pleasures or irresponsibility in contrast to responsibility.
I apologize for the ramble. I don't apologize for the joy I have discovered in the knowledge gained in my effort to better understand this form & your poem. It was well worth the effort.
I thank you, Iris & Jessica for everything I have learned.
Great work Flanders. And thanks for reminding me of the Bard. I always think about him, especially this time of year.


Written by cookiedough  (1/31/2011 11:31:08 PM)

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