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Whose Fault? Game Room Challenge #6
By mwhousemouse on 02/09/2011
Viewed: 697
Reviews: 15
Rating:

consequential 


Written by Red Roses and Wine  (2/9/2011 10:50:56 AM)

It fits perfectly as you spill your inner thought and most deepest feelings to share.

I hope future brings you the newness of that known feeling of yesterday.

 

No Rating
Written by ChungWoo  (2/9/2011 11:51:20 AM)

The resonating of "as it is I am" pulled me in. Very well done.

 

No Rating
Written by mwhousemouse  (2/10/2011 9:09:06 AM)

Thanks Iris & Nolan
for your comments. They are always helpful and greatly appreciated.
Michael

I give it a 5,... 


Written by JAM  (2/10/2011 1:59:35 PM)

I give it a five on the FORM & POETRY Context
The Poem is Great!, itself, easily deserving a 5
I can't say, though, it belongs here
Frankly...Cause I didn't get the message
The poem itself is GREAT, but I never found a true background MESSAGE in it to evaluate
So...Sorry

 

No Rating
Written by alienrhymer  (2/11/2011 12:06:50 AM)

In terms of form, I'm feeling like this piece is an embodiment of the goals opposite to mine. That is, I try to remember what the correct word order in standard English is and stick to it, an this poem does just the opposite. Makes quite an impression, but isn't it following an almost algorithmic recipe?

 

No Rating
Written by alienrhymer  (2/11/2011 12:08:27 AM)

In terms of form, I'm feeling like this piece is an embodiment of the goals opposite to mine. That is, I try to remember what the correct word order in standard English is and stick to it, an this poem does just the opposite. Makes quite an impression, but isn't it following an almost algorithmic recipe?

 

No Rating
Written by alienrhymer  (2/11/2011 12:09:43 AM)

In terms of form, I'm feeling like this piece is an embodiment of the goals opposite to mine. That is, I try to remember what the correct word order in standard English is and stick to it, an this poem does just the opposite. Makes quite an impression, but isn't it following an almost algorithmic recipe?

Thanks Jordan & Anna 

No Rating
Written by mwhousemouse  (2/11/2011 10:59:33 AM)

Both responses are great & both open thought for discussion. I will make a short and not at all conclusive reaction to your astute observations.

Jordan - I, too, questioned the confessional aspect of this piece & took to heart Iris' response as she sees that element in the words. I am curious If you have no thoughts about what I might intend to say.
Sometimes poetry leaves me blank for several reads until suddenly sometimes something changes & I see clearly what previously for me was just not there. My hope is for the reader to choose to read many times in interest & an effort for mare to gain.
I am grateful you have shared & hope you will always respond with open candor. Your true impressions in thought are invaluable to me.
Thanks

Anna - You are correct. I often abandon English rules of prose. I make an effort to turn thought audibly and visually to separate as best I kind the words from the page to become experience that resonates in the reader's mind.
I am not sure About your reference to algorithms as I thought they suggest a set of rules. I am not multilingual but I am aware of the challenges present in writing in a second language. I am sure some of the irony I try create by twisting & turning inside out the words I write risks message lost as well as chance perceptions may expand.
I am so glad you share your thoughts. You always make me more aware.
Michael

 

No Rating
Written by alienrhymer  (2/11/2011 9:08:51 PM)

Algorithms are just a figure of speech here, kind of habitual. What I meant is that dis-habituation (?) of the way it sounds is achieved through syntax, among other carriers. Thanks for your expanded response.

Awesome 


Written by kewlstar  (2/12/2011 4:23:21 AM)

This is a very fine piece, but I do see some commonly used terms of rain and blistering scars :), nothing wrong with it, but it has just been spoken about often by others. I really like your writing, especially your challenge 5 was superb. So keep writing :)


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