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Erotica Challenge #7 My Try! :)
By JAM on 02/18/2011
Viewed: 318
Reviews: 9
Rating:

my try 


Written by flanders  (2/19/2011 4:45:25 AM)

lustful tease bad boys and girls come out to play
you say it with out going over the top
i love it good poetry and i thank you for the read.
flanders.,.

 

No Rating
Written by montyfuss  (2/19/2011 8:07:49 AM)

Great write, my favorite line is the very last one. It is fantastic, and so true.

softer side of love making 


Written by Red Roses and Wine  (2/19/2011 12:33:59 PM)

love this piece and see I am not the only one...

My Try 


Written by DesertBoyIan  (2/20/2011 6:17:17 AM)

Very erotic, yet subtle - I like that - good rhyme scheme, it flows smoothly, and I LOVE the last line!
Peace - Ian

 

No Rating
Written by skitzo_scribbler  (2/22/2011 4:12:11 PM)

Powerfully writ, mate...cheers! Keep penning

My Try 

No Rating
Written by gloryia  (2/23/2011 12:18:38 PM)

Good attempt - Gloryia

 

No Rating
Written by mwhousemouse  (2/24/2011 10:36:15 PM)

I wonder the insertion of consequence fleetingly a blink, if you intend it to be guilt for indulgence pleasure or possibly inevitable punishment that must be served?
Michael

 


Written by JdSchooley  (3/2/2011 7:36:48 PM)

There is a rather rough meter in this piece, where it seem to be a little rough. The concept is nice, just some cleaning up is needed....Jd

Nicely done 

No Rating
Written by dmin  (3/10/2011 4:27:00 AM)

I have 4 kids and they think they invented everything! Lol they don't think parents make love. They just have sex! Thanks Damian


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