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Wooden rosary , A water colour stain- Ch#11
By Mikey1174 on 04/15/2011
Viewed: 199
Reviews: 5
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Written by mwhousemouse  (4/16/2011 3:58:28 PM)

Your rhythm in meter through verse here is very strong. You, for me, have introduced the never known fathers path to follow off to war. I especially enjoyed your piece & this thought I did not find in the lyrics of your chosen song. your expansion for me has more to say making it more interesting to read. Very well done, in my opinion.
Michael

Thankyou Michael 

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Written by Mikey1174  (4/16/2011 11:55:02 PM)

This song is very personal to me because I never met my real father and drives me(good and bad) to this day. The song represents in my eyes perhaps my moms ordeals with HIM because "then he threw away our apple seed". You have to listen to the song to really get it! Thanks for the critique!

 

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Written by JinglesMcFeelgood  (4/19/2011 12:05:02 PM)

I love it. I love that it's personal and part of you.

 


Written by raven-wings  (4/25/2011 4:15:35 AM)

I can't say I am much good at commentating on lyrics so bear with me a little when I comment.It reads to me of a Jekyll and Hyde complex not sure that is your intention.It reads well until about half way then for me stalls a little, that might be because I read it aloud and do not have the melody you were thinking of at the time.You could try reading it yourself and see what I mean but that is just my way of reading poetry and might not suit you :) great effort though I hope it goes well :)

Wooden Rosary 


Written by DesertBoyIan  (5/7/2011 8:32:18 AM)

Flows well, but gets a bit tangled in the middle - just my opnion - :-)
Peace - Ian


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