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Challenge 15 - The final laugh
By supriyamothay on 05/11/2011
Viewed: 233
Reviews: 2

Hungry Wolves, Wasted Life 

Written by DesertBoyIan  (5/11/2011 12:24:13 PM)

I like this piece very much and I like how you broke it up into stanzas for each part of the story - the last line however, doesn't seem strong enough to me - something more like "and the laughing was silenced forever" ? Also, the title is confusing, b/c no where do you talk about hungry wolves in your poem - how about something like "The Final Laugh" ? Anyway, this poem evoked my emotinos deeply and that is what it is all about!- just my opinions! :-)
Peace - Ian

Changing it right away!! Thanx for the feedback :) 

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Written by supriyamothay  (5/11/2011 1:42:55 PM)

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