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MORE THAN A CRUSH
By JOHNY on 01/14/2012
Viewed: 271
Reviews: 4
Rating:

good stuff 


Written by standrkm  (1/17/2012 5:33:45 PM)

I like it but sometimes when I was reading it I was wanting it to rhyme like a rap song. Like I had the beat in my head and I was about to hear it go off but then it didn't. Not bad, you can feel the passion.

I DONT KNOW IF ITS U OR ME
BECAUSE I LOOK AT U I SEE ONLY ONE THING
LOVE THATS THE MAGIC I CAN ONLY GIVE
IN MY LIFE U SYMBOLISE EVERYTHING.

Maybe experiment with somethin like this:

I don't know if it's you or if it's just me
but with you in my life I see my destiny
all the love in the magic that I can only give
you symbolize what is tragic now if I couldn't live.

It's almost the same thing but I changed some words up to make it pop a little more. Just to give you an idea of how it might sound if you made it into a hard flow. Keep up the good work.

MORE THAN A CRUSH 


Written by Unknown Member  (1/20/2012 2:52:53 AM)

So very heartfelt, you really express well that she is EVERYTHING to you, I like it! Paul

Awwww.... 


Written by Medicmatt2042  (1/20/2012 9:57:40 PM)

This is such an adorable poem! I absolutely enjoyed reading this. Well done!

MORE THAN A CRUSH 


Written by Unknown Member  (3/1/2012 7:36:52 AM)

Very nice poem i love the title very heartfelt :)


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