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A Kiss
By sailboat on 02/25/2012
Viewed: 314
Reviews: 10
Rating:

A Kiss 


Written by Unknown Member  (2/25/2012 11:46:49 AM)

nice poem :)

Content needs improvement 


Written by kgodbey  (4/22/2012 9:15:32 PM)

Since you took a simple poem used in a contest about being a mother and trouble in children's eyes, I thought I would let you know that I am a very good writer. You feeling the need to criticize teachers was very evident. Actually my student's poetry won awards, so I evidently knew how to teach them.

I really don't care what you think, you seem to be a man with an ego problem. I noticed on your profile that all your friends are women. Imagine that!

You write all these words that half the people who read them never use, nor do they know what they mean. Tell me, how is that a good poem? How effective was your writing? Some of the best poetry I read in college was the simple poems with common language that evoked an emotion. Your poem about a "kiss" didn't move me at all. It didn't move me because of the jerk behind it.

Don't judge people when you don't know how or why a poem is written a certain way. Just keep convincing yourself you are a stud muffin....yeah right! I am a retired teacher too who has had numerous poems with 5 stars, but people like you is why I stopped posting on Moontown Cafe 3 years ago.

 

No Rating
Written by kgodbey  (4/22/2012 9:23:12 PM)

o'er...not o"er.


So many times I''ve mixed this munge---I've

down into throes of passion''s bliss. -- passion's

In secret treasures that we share? - Incomplete thought. If you want it to be connected to the previous line then remove the capital letter.

Every line begins with a capital letter except one... that is elementary writing rules in grammar and punctuation. Get it right before you criticize.

 

No Rating
Written by sailboat  (4/22/2012 9:44:28 PM)

Thank you for commenting and for pointing out the typos. I actually prefer a critical review. Your opinion, of course, is your own.

So did I 

No Rating
Written by kgodbey  (4/23/2012 9:09:28 AM)

I expected a review of the poem, not a critique of my profession which you know nothing about. My poem was written to be a bit humorous yet convey the importance of mothers.

You immediately bashed me as a teacher and assumed you understood my poem. In reality you missed the whole point. This poem received 12 - 5 star ratings ...funny how you gave it a one...it is the content not the style.

This is an ACROSTIC poem...do you know him???

Just, He is trustworthy, blameless, and true
Everlasting, His love shall endure and knows no end
Savior, only begotten Son of God, sinless
Unblemished, the perfect sacrifice for the sin of humanity
Salvation, to all that would receive Him

Conqueror, of death, hell, and the grave, he owns the keys!
Humble, to the point of death, and separation from God
Redeemer, the Good Shepherd, who rescues the lost sheep
Interceding, sitting at the right hand of the Father, pleading our defense
Suffered, bled and died, that we might have eternal life
Truth, He is the truth, the light, and the way...the only way.



 


Written by Tsmiles  (4/27/2012 3:59:15 AM)

This is a nice love affair poem. Falling out of love for love is always an interesting read. The low rating brought me here. Almost every poem is rated at least a 4 to be kind, but I'll give you a 4 stars because of the incorrect use of an apostrophe. Reading o'ver and seeing your username as sailboat gave me quite the laugh.

 

No Rating
Written by Devans  (5/9/2012 8:09:16 AM)

very nice poem...

 

No Rating
Written by Devans  (5/9/2012 9:15:06 AM)

I like the way you put that poem together

 

No Rating
Written by Devans  (5/9/2012 9:15:54 AM)

I like the way you put that poem together

 

No Rating
Written by Devans  (5/9/2012 9:16:00 AM)

I like the way you put that poem together


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