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Love is a Flower!
By standrkm on 08/16/2012
Viewed: 192
Reviews: 2
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Written by dersoninperson  (8/16/2012 12:25:53 PM)

"They say love's a flower, so dig it a hole"-- for some reason, I really enjoyed that opening line; it's a good invitation to your poem. Everything seemed to fit well until I got to "strip off your clothing." That part seemed a little out of place. Also, the ending sounded more suicidal than lovely, which puzzled me.

Other than that, good flow and wording.

 

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Written by standrkm  (8/16/2012 1:43:51 PM)

Yep that was the point. It's not about love, it's about jealousy. It's about a guy watching his neighbor out their in his fluffy robe collecting his newspaper and sniffing his little roses. High on life like some fairytale while he's facing a crappy existence. From the outside looking in, love stinks. Yeah I got a whole backstory for everything.

Sure I could have made it end nicely but that's too boring and predictable. It's too obvious, that's not real and this site is full of it. Plus I thought no one read my stuff anymore lol. thanks


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