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Forsaking The Now
By MikeC16958 on 04/24/2005
Viewed: 693
Reviews: 9
Rating:

well donr 

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Written by coomadoug  (4/24/2005 1:16:14 PM)

You managed to get a word in to poetry that i would never attempt to put in let alone spell it. But it is also a good poem

Mike, 

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Written by IndigoWhimsy  (4/24/2005 3:05:54 PM)

I admire the sadness of this piece for some reason. The only thing I think may need to be changed - "many song left unsung"... Should be "many A song" or "many songs?" Regardless, I liked this. The repetition of certain phrases also served to firmly root the images in my mind.

Thanks for the responses, folks. 

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Written by MikeC16958  (4/24/2005 3:53:12 PM)

I guess chrysanthemum is the word, doug? Erin I've pluralized song. Works better for me. Peace to you both and all good things. :-)

Once you read between the truths and the 


Written by maggieb  (4/24/2005 3:57:54 PM)

heartache, a lovely poem emerges like a butterfly in spring. Awesome, as always.

I changed two tenses in here 

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Written by MikeC16958  (4/24/2005 7:01:48 PM)

so this is revised a little.

Thanks Maggie!!! 

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Written by MikeC16958  (4/24/2005 8:06:59 PM)

Welcome back! Peace and all good things to you, hon! ~~HUGS~~

Oh, wow, 


Written by Mamastacia3  (4/25/2005 12:15:42 AM)

this is really, really good. The "good" feeling is still with me even though I somehow already wrote this entire paragraph and it failed to post, so I lost it and have to start all over....grrr. But, it's worth it to tell you AGAIN that I loved this poem. So poignant; the pain and longing come through so clearly. The pleasure/need of memory at the cost of living life. I especially loved the entire third stanza; "Days, weeks months passed/teasing me with their joy, sorrow,/pleasure and pain until I folded up/into myself for fear of changing/any of it" So nice. I got that satisfactory "ahh" feeling that comes at the end (at least for me) of any really good poem. Ahhh. -Stacia :)

Stacia, bless your heart 

No Rating
Written by MikeC16958  (7/13/2005 7:18:33 PM)

and thanks for your rating. HUGS and peace to you! :-)

 


Written by Biggus  (12/14/2007 6:15:45 AM)



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