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knifes,green eyes, suicide, butterflies
By criptic_thoughts on 07/09/2005
Viewed: 760
Reviews: 5
Rating:

the plural of knife 

No Rating
Written by duchess  (7/10/2005 11:57:42 AM)

is knives. (just so you know ; )

i love this poem! 


Written by Angel Wings  (7/21/2005 12:52:17 PM)

your so good! -smiles- i wish i could write like you....but i dont write that good.....so.....yeah.....anyways very good!

Amazing 


Written by MyLastBlkrose  (4/25/2006 9:47:34 AM)

You are an amazing writer, I appreciate your work so very much, I relate to u a lot, I wont say i kno how u feel, cuz I don't kno ur life, but I know how u hurt, and I hope you stay strong sweetie, awesome work, don't give up, even if writing is the only thing keeping you alive, let it be, I think you will make it far if you keep writing sweetheart, goodluck


Written by lilyluna22  (1/15/2007 11:03:54 PM)

You have a few spelling mistakes throughout the poem. Maybe run it through spell check and repost. This is a good start but some of your lines feel dis-jointed. Longer line breaks may improve the rhythm. Also maybe attempt to include more imagry. Don't just tell the reader what you want to say, show them. Paint a picture with your words.

the world is a shitbox!!! lovely! 

No Rating
Written by thedeadfreak  (8/1/2007 2:14:18 AM)

oh how true your words speak to the mind, it's truly beautiful and i can relate to the pain of life you are trying to cut out with the edge of the knife. it's very eyes closed fingers crossed hope the bullet to the heart doesn't miss kinda poem. You are a great writer and the lilyluna girl has her opinion which is good but i do beleive she is wrong, the words brushed to your canvas very beautifully brushed as i have already told you.
anyway, keep writing!!!
~Annie


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