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Seaside Romance (Revised)
By just me on 08/16/2005
Viewed: 807
Reviews: 6
Rating:

Nice read 

No Rating
Written by Evan  (8/16/2005 5:14:26 PM)

Experienced the seaside, sadness.

thanks 

No Rating
Written by just me  (8/18/2005 6:18:15 PM)

I'm glad that you liked my poem, I had posted it before, but I made revisions and reposted it. Please review this guys, I need more input :)

Pretty 


Written by sonataincminor  (8/19/2005 7:08:15 AM)

You set and carry a mood throughout this poem. Good repetition. Not sure why it's 'she and you' and not 'me and you', the alternation between third and second person is not as personal. Last line, 'this' indicates present tense, where 'that' would indicate past tense. Excellent word choices with vivacious, blissful, sweltering, eminating (sp.), frothy. You write well. Enjoyed this very much.

Ah. Now I get it 

No Rating
Written by sonataincminor  (8/29/2005 9:19:48 PM)

Sorry for my confusion. Might find a way to emphasize the story telling nature of the poem a bit more. You did good with the last line. You're welcome, and thank you.

:) 

No Rating
Written by just me  (8/31/2005 8:18:27 PM)

It was no problem, I don't mind explaining my poetry as long as it is helpful for the readers :). I'll take your comments into consideration if I alter this poem anymore. Thanks again!
just_me

 


Written by Biggus  (12/21/2007 6:24:14 AM)



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