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???, No title for this yet, suggestions?
By Ambrosia on 08/28/2005
Viewed: 522
Reviews: 8
Rating:

Suggestions? 

No Rating
Written by sonataincminor  (8/29/2005 8:35:07 PM)

Ah, what about that drowning rat image? The disdain in the image doesn't match the strength or anger of 'ungrateful usage of my abilities'. Maybe find a different image more in keeping with the overall tone? And, ma'am, too many commas, just too many of 'em. Use commas to mark breathing. In a poem like this, capitalizing every line detracts (you may have to fool your word processor). Don't get me wrong, I really like this piece. The tone, word selection, well-wrought phrases. It's very good.

Thank you 

No Rating
Written by Ambrosia  (8/29/2005 11:50:39 PM)

for your comments, I will try your suggestions.

light in the darkness 


Written by semi_psychiatrist  (9/8/2005 3:57:05 PM)

sounds like and good name. I enjoyed your poem but thought it was a little sketchy at the end.

I like what you've done 

No Rating
Written by sonataincminor  (9/23/2005 10:18:37 PM)

But my emails and IM's keep coming back saying you aren't there. Where are you?

this hits the spot 


Written by rockia  (9/26/2005 11:21:20 AM)

this hits the spot, to exactly how I've been feeling, I can't think of a title for you but something about bitterness or sorrow I could see in the title.

 


Written by linda mosley  (11/12/2006 1:00:51 PM)

Very very very good
You should cll it Misuse Of Trust

I read this 5 times 


Written by Unknown Member  (1/20/2007 6:40:35 AM)

I don't know what it is about this poem.
But, it has me feel as if it is in a TV drama scene or something.

it is very good.
titles not sure

 


Written by neenee  (1/21/2007 5:50:38 PM)

Compassions should be the name.


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