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Distant Lovers
By sunshinedust on 09/25/2005
Viewed: 559
Reviews: 3
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Written by 2BRno2B  (10/22/2005 2:09:14 AM)

Im sure this may be how you feel.. I do like it.
Im thinking that there are a few areas that need not be to maybe shorten the piece yet keep the meaning
of your poem just as powerfull.......of course this is just my opinion.


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Written by sonataincminor  (10/23/2005 5:19:54 PM)

I think you should think about breaking this poem up into stanzas. 1, you see him, 2, you are together, 3, his death, 4, his note, 5, epilogue. It's 'adeiu' in the line 'so with this I will bid you a due'. You might really think about not rhyming in his suicide note, it detracts from the gravity of the situation. This is an interesting poem, a difficult topic handled without being all weepy. Good work!


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Written by MyLastBlkrose  (4/25/2006 9:52:18 AM)

I didn't even finish the poem and I almost cryed, awesome writing sweetie...I will read the whole thing, I just don't have time, I must go..sorri good luck tho darlin

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