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By maddie1305 on 09/29/2005
Viewed: 613
Reviews: 3

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Written by sonataincminor  (10/12/2005 10:51:25 PM)

I think you have something interesting to say here, but honestly, it gets lost in the all capital letters and numerous typos. 'Tou, angle, wil, among others. The last line needs to be straightened out.

I would also suggest shorter lines. 'Sparrow in the wind' I don't think casts an image of a knife cutting. Need a different bird, especially since there's also 'sparrow in the clouds' towards the end.

Work on this. You have a good start.

i agree with above review 

Written by rachelle1165  (11/30/2007 6:32:20 PM)


Written by Unknown Member  (2/4/2010 11:55:20 AM)

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