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Drowning in your shore
By dandycky26 on 10/24/2005
Viewed: 604
Reviews: 4

Oh, you have talent 

Written by sonataincminor  (11/2/2005 11:19:11 PM)

And this piece is wonderful. I don't know about this guy, if he hasn't fallen for you yet, there's something seriously wrong with him. lol Couple of spelling things, grammar, loneliness. Good expression, good word choices, good phrasing, all the elements of poetry in this piece, well wrought. All sitting on the edge.

Ma'am, you need to be in a creative writing class. Not because of what you don't know, but because of what you do know. I hope you sign up for one soon. You can be one of the great ones. Thank you for posting this piece.


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Written by dandycky26  (11/3/2005 9:05:49 AM)

i really appreciate the reviews. i am trying to get into a writing class and i am sending my stuff to some poetry contests. i spelled grammar wrong on purpose to show that i have bad grammar and spelling, showing that my love is definitely not perfect. it is that whole saying "its going well" instead of "its going good thing". i'll keep working on it.



No Rating
Written by sonataincminor  (11/3/2005 9:29:48 PM)

Ok, I understand the convention, but grammar was the wrong word to use to bring it out. See, grammar is so often misspelled as grammer that your readers are only going to see the misspelled word (and hence a poet who didn't check her work) and not 'get it'. You really need a different word to misspell. Perhaps 'spelling' or 'punctuation'. The other thing is that it will then be the only misspelled word in your poem. You could introduce it as a subtheme into your poem, as in 'I won't love you perfectly, but as good as my spelling', followed a stanza later by 'my love isn't perfect, but it's as good as my capitalization', or some such. (Make yours more poetic...)


Written by candygrl16  (10/31/2007 8:01:49 PM)

get off it

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