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By dandycky26 on 01/15/2006
Viewed: 624
Reviews: 2


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Written by loverstail  (1/18/2006 5:46:38 PM)

it shows how much emotion you put toward's something you want.


Written by sonataincminor  (2/12/2006 10:53:15 PM)

Duality and dichotomy. Seems a theme that runs through a lot of your poetry.

In this one, there's still the shifting between 'they', 'one' and 'you' (third person and second person). While I can understand where you're going, it can be a point of confusion to the reader, and more importantly to publishers.

I think 'dwindle' doesn't fit here. 'Dwell' perhaps?

I do like that note of freedom at the end. I like it a lot.

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