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As He Remembered
By sarahcroberts on 06/18/2006
Viewed: 504
Reviews: 1
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Written by Moondust  (6/18/2006 5:42:39 PM)

A nice poem of the last moments and the thoughts that one would have. I really think it would benefit from at least one break, simply to allow the reader time to take his thought process in.

The five lines ina row beginning with "he" could be improved on too.

I like your easy little rhyme scheme in there. Overall, well done, with a nice ending

MD


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