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blindness
By irock on 08/26/2006
Viewed: 682
Reviews: 3
Rating:

It was ok 


Written by titita  (8/26/2006 4:05:12 PM)

It was ok. I mean overall, you kept it short and simple. It has a little rythm of sentimentality. Which is fine. However I feel it's boring, even considering it's short. It is also a little cheesy. Saying goodbye to a loved one, while the heart aches. Poetry is not just describing feelings. It's rather a matter of providing those feelings. Keep the idea, write along long poem packed with images. Then revisit, keep the ones you can actually see of feel them, and finally logically connect them with each other. Best of luck

 


Written by Querida  (8/27/2006 1:54:23 PM)

I liked it, but it needs some majore improvement before it can rock as you do. :)

I like it 


Written by MandyParshall  (9/26/2006 9:54:01 AM)

I thought it was good!


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