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White Knight
By linda mosley on 11/23/2006
Viewed: 516
Reviews: 1

white knight 

Written by Unknown Member  (11/26/2006 8:19:24 PM)

You have a good grasp of images that appeal to the mind. I especially liked the lines " A feather of an eagle,/ drifted by, ever so gentle/ into the sky."

But perhaps you need to dwell more on what these images mean to you. What is your poem really about? The images need a plot to make it more cohesive.

The white knight that turns into a bear reminds me of a fairy tale. Perhaps you could retell an old fairy tale, or write your own. Perhaps the woman or dreamer is involved in a quest, and thus all the things you encounter will be meaningful. Good luck with your revision.

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