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"Beside myself:Eviction of Elegance"
By Soulfade the Ghost on 12/21/2006
Viewed: 539
Reviews: 5


No Rating
Written by Persephone Rose  (12/21/2006 11:20:45 PM)

it seems that we all have something to long for, to wait for. persephone says your tempo and focus were well spent in this one.


Written by Ka-Tinuum  (12/22/2006 3:43:51 AM)

I had thought that I had reviewed this. This is a very good place for you.


Written by The Lobotomist  (12/22/2006 7:09:04 AM)

I really liked the aliteration and repitition and your word choice was also admirable. Nice work!


Written by l0nnieugene  (12/22/2006 12:15:48 PM)

there is no fade that makes up any phase nU! the lyrical license you take in this poem entitles u2 use the word "Elegance" in its title. That word has so much relevance in this piece. Yeah, i'll admit it. as i read this my mind was mining verses, vignettes by the volumes. i can't help it that's the way my mind works. The system won't let me copy/paste a quote but it it did i would chose the1 starting with 'Love laps like...' that alliteration packs a powerful wallop. Man, i like your stuff so much so that 4 the 1st time i'm emplloying the star rating system. i intentionally didn't chose 5stars 'cause i know that your work will 1day reach a point @which it will exceed excellence


No Rating
Written by sheerluck  (12/22/2006 5:10:48 PM)

Every word fits so perfectly.

I love the lines:
Love laps like luminescent waves at the thirsty, deprived beach that is longing in me.
Eager to turn Lust into longevity and laminate it...to keep it fresh. To keep it MINE.

The comparisons are unique.

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