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By Barkhiya on 01/15/2007
Viewed: 463
Reviews: 3


Written by Summerdream  (1/17/2007 10:18:47 AM)

Its beautiful :)


No Rating
Written by westcoastmama  (1/17/2007 1:31:13 PM)

is very nicely written. Just one suggestion, if I may?

You might want to break up your sentences a bit. Doing such will cause fluidity in the reading


"Tell me what makes you silent(add a hyphen to add a small pause to punctuate what is being said)why you hide your pain

Oh, your silence is my agony
that jolts my restful mind

Dear, bring a smile on your face
and lend words to your emotions

Wipe off those gloomy tears
that sketches paleness on your cheeks...."

See what I mean? But, of course, this is my opinion. As I said, it is a nice write, nonetheless. Welcome to Moontown! ~Mary


Written by Kimber-Michaela  (1/17/2007 1:49:52 PM)

very heart driven words-

very nice work

Kimber- Michaela

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