Do you know what the entails i think that you mean "do you know what that entails" It’s freedom to explore, and you knowing my master perhaps start a new line after the comma Then let go of the flesh And listen to me and share my dreams…. i might suggest putting a comma before this part, and cutting out the beginning and, that would give it more power. other than those little details, i thought it was excellent. so much better than all of the " i gave you everything and you still dont see who i am" poems. i get really sick of those. i like how it has an underbelly of sensuality. very nice job.