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By jakeybear10 on 05/02/2007
Viewed: 822
Reviews: 2


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Written by Zyskandar A. Jaimot  (5/3/2007 11:03:54 AM)

to jakeybear10 - too many pronouns that don't mean much - she, her, girl - tell us about this girl/woman don't leave it so inpersonal - 'she has beautiful eyes -SO? does she have 3 of them? what makes 'her' different - unique? show us - tell us zaj

Lovey Dovey!!! 

Written by tinkerbell_12  (5/3/2007 5:41:16 PM)

I absolutely love it.

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