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untitled
By candice on 08/08/2007
Viewed: 450
Reviews: 2
Rating:

Two nits 


Written by Davidjroth2002  (8/8/2007 9:24:55 AM)

Both typos:

'lie' in bed, not 'lye' which is the word for a harsh, caustic alkaloid - although given the topic, that might be an interesting play on words.

'tender' and not 'tendar'

Good job

Untitled some advice 


Written by tercarro  (11/7/2008 5:07:47 PM)

to lie in bed wrapped in your arms with love,
feeling the beat of your heart.
hearing your tender sweet voice whispering in my ear.

While still thinking to myself how wonderful
this precious moment is.

I like the "to lie in bed" because it could be telling an untruth while wrapped in his arms or prostrate as in laying down which adds more flavor. I like this.


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