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The Proposal
By ChestersDaughter on 08/17/2007
Viewed: 322
Reviews: 2
Rating:

You have a good start 


Written by Davidjroth2002  (8/17/2007 10:20:18 AM)

but the last stanza needs work - rhythm and ryme fall apart, and you force the third line to fit the fourth, or perhaps vice-versa. Take another look at it.

 

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Written by Unknown Member  (8/20/2007 11:20:54 PM)

This man wants more that she will give
To taste life fully while they still live
-- Wonderful. I can relate to this man.


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