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"Eliza, we've decided to divorce-"
By gingerbreadandcream on 09/24/2007
Viewed: 437
Reviews: 4
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Written by Zyskandar A. Jaimot  (9/24/2007 7:45:32 PM)

to gbac - thoughts/poems need cleaning-up viz:

heart bleeds [no need to write it is inside]
split in two[not necessary to write/say 'suddenly']
blood flows
out gey eyes of escape
acrossd cheeks they streak
briny streams of broken love.
is yours stronger - or this? not 'great poetry' but you should get the idea thanks for sharing/posting zaj

 

No Rating
Written by babyshay34  (7/17/2011 10:53:34 AM)

your work is great

 


Written by dersoninperson  (7/22/2011 10:46:14 AM)

I've never experienced divorce, but what I've seen, I know it is severely painful-- that's why I can't be satisfied that this poem is complete. I feel there is more extrapolation of these thoughts that need to be penned out.

too sad 


Written by JdSchooley  (7/23/2011 10:17:14 PM)

with time the healing shall come about. Nice write....Jd


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