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Grey Matter
By wickedhart on 10/01/2007
Viewed: 463
Reviews: 7
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Written by Zyskandar A. Jaimot  (10/1/2007 10:01:35 AM)

to wh - this is quite good 2 many 'just' and should it be 'your' in line3? thanks for sharing/posting regards zaj

 

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Written by wickedhart  (10/4/2007 6:07:01 AM)

Thank you for reading this zaj and yes it should be "your" kinda got in a hurry...Thanks for the comment....

 


Written by Orvas  (10/4/2007 11:36:34 AM)

Proof read before posting unless you're going for a specific dialect. "Just to feel you skin..."
How does the second character go instantly from not wanting you to touch her to being perfectly okay with it? Decent metaphors; some mysterious language there at the end. I don't quite get the title personally, but I suppose translation of the meaning is up to the individual.

 

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Written by wickedhart  (10/11/2007 2:27:50 AM)

Thank you for taking the time to read this...I appreciate the comments...:)

 


Written by jocodi  (9/22/2008 1:21:02 PM)

I like this poem very much. The first three lines of each stanza are the best - I liked the way they set up the tone and meaning for the rest of the stanza.
Thank you for posting.

 


Written by Unknown Member  (10/13/2008 7:07:10 AM)

"I am feeling grey today..." she said.

"How grey?" he asked.

"Charcoal."

 


Written by kingofhearts  (10/14/2008 2:41:10 AM)



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