Potential, but a long way there. The rhyme off the bat was a bit too much. At the end you meant, I assume, bid instead of "bad". Too much detail about the clock; write clock, hands. Too much cliche like palms sweated, heart pounded. Try using detail that is uniquely the man's. The middle is much to cliche. The last eight lines are very nice. They run together without a breather and it makes the reader want to go on.