Poet & Writing Community Poet Community
About Publish FAQ's Bookstore Free Poetry Contest
MoonTownCafe Home for Poets


Advanced Search
MoonTownCafe Home My Cafe Write Poems, Stories, and more Publish your Poems, Stories and Book My Friends on this Site Log-in
  Poetry & Writing ForumsFree Poetry ContestJournal

Read Reviews

By Biggus on 01/14/2008
Viewed: 340
Reviews: 1


Written by motherofson  (1/14/2008 1:38:47 PM)

Potential, but a long way there. The rhyme off the bat was a bit too much. At the end you meant, I assume, bid instead of "bad". Too much detail about the clock; write clock, hands. Too much cliche like palms sweated, heart pounded. Try using detail that is uniquely the man's. The middle is much to cliche. The last eight lines are very nice. They run together without a breather and it makes the reader want to go on.

Read User Reviews
Write Review
Report Poem

Add To Friend

Send To Friend
The Best Online Poem and Writing Community for all
Forgot Username?

Forgot Password?
Not a member?
Sign up for free!

Premium Membership


  Enter your email:
  Site Stats     Online members:0      Online guests:52      Total Users:23889      Total Poems:62976
© 2000-2016 MoonTownCafe.com. All rights reserved. LinksLink to UsPoet LinksContactPrivacy