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By ShatteredGlass on 01/23/2008
Viewed: 383
Reviews: 1


Written by blogetry  (1/23/2008 6:49:32 PM)

...luv the theme but not quite sure of some of the metaphors (I suggest changing "like endless time" l1 to something more obviously "clingy"); also "repeat over and over" l6 is...well...a little too repetitive.
But a nip here and tuck there will transform "untitled" into a sparkling gem.

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