The rhythm and flow of this piece is wonderful. It all does bring me nicely to the end, sweetly sing-songy and lulling me into a sleepy relaxation. Very nice! I like the transition from waking to sleeping as well. The only grammar thing that I really see is in the sixth stanza - I think it should be "supposeD to be my Romeo". Other than that, it's quite impeccable =). The "Zzz"s at the end are a good touch.