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By monroxs22 on 07/25/2008
Viewed: 423
Reviews: 2

the seed and heart of this poem 

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Written by rachelle1165  (7/28/2008 6:31:55 AM)

I believe is

But all I get in return is the quiet sorrow of your Sleep,

I would probably take this line, tweak it a bit, i.e.,
"In the quiet sorrow of your sleep" and open the poem with it, and create a new poem using the same ideas,


Written by Unknown Member  (10/22/2008 9:42:32 PM)

This makes me put down my usual critical instruments and feel sympathy for the speaking subject. It is sentimental through and through but, I would like to say, in a different way. Sometimes simplicity without pretence goes the longest way. Poems such as this one will not make the history, I dare to say, but I need them too. Anyway, the two final lines are strong for the conjuction of extreme anguish and a matter of fact statement, verging on farcical (owing to that ingenious "anyway" putting the whole poem into a new perspective)

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