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By monroxs22 on 07/27/2008
Viewed: 365
Reviews: 1

some good flow here, nice rhythm 

Written by rachelle1165  (7/28/2008 8:00:41 PM)

4th line, did you mean "hazardous"?

11th line, should it be" hide"?

not sure about using the word "me" in the last three lines..

how about

"set free to be
a whole new me"?

im guessing you copied and pasted this from Word, as the beginning of every line is capitalized...that is unnecessary, incorrect, and even more important, hinders the flow a bit.

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