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I Miss You
By dersoninperson on 11/13/2008
Viewed: 378
Reviews: 3
Rating:

Excellent 


Written by Morse..(Re)  (11/14/2008 12:53:56 AM)

Two major things, structure and contractions. The structure of this is great, i love how the begninning and the end tie into each other. How you do not always complete each thought with each line, which make the lines flow easier than if you chop each line off at the end. I even enjoy how the lines wax at the beginning and come to a crescendo in the middle and then wane towards the end. But the contractions are bad, you should never use contractions in formal writing. I know this isn't exactly formal but it still looks better when you do not use them. Nothing else really specific, but i find that if you write your poem, take some time away and then try to refine it, it usually turns out better. So you could write it, do a few reviews or read some poems, and then critique it and submit. But overall Great Job!

 

No Rating
Written by dersoninperson  (11/14/2008 1:25:26 PM)

thanks for the constructive criticism. this is not the final copy of the poem, just a rough beginning of what I will expand upon later.

 


Written by chicalatina  (11/14/2008 1:43:33 PM)

reallly good poem


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