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Laughing Buddha Dimple (1)
By treemeat on 11/25/2008
Viewed: 470
Reviews: 3
Rating:

Very original and beautiful metaphor! 


Written by Rainb├│w  (11/25/2008 4:08:44 AM)

This is short but sweet. The title is original, as well, but I can't really see a connection... hm.
Still, it's well done!

Very Sweet 


Written by psycoative26  (11/25/2008 7:14:19 PM)

I love when people take normal things, what you wrote is like a free verse haiku.
A simple yet primitive feeling we all get but never explain. it sweeps and wavers like music

golden, lilac scented wind -

although i think it would be better without out that line. My main mistake with poetry when i start and even now is sometimes too much description. Its hard to paint images, have them flow like music and yet still create a story or cause for the poem all at the same time.

But thats why its called art. Good work nice.

 

No Rating
Written by treemeat  (11/28/2008 9:33:32 PM)

thanks guys. this one leans more towards my canadian-pops, or western haikus - complexity in minimalism.

i guess the title only makes sense in my head and flows better than "i want wind (pt1)", plus i'm iffy on "i want wind (pt2)".

golden, lilac scented wind - is important to what i'm writing about but i think explaining what things mean to me kind of ruins it.

psycoative26, i'm going to write you something with precision and a revelation just as soon as i'm feeling precise and have truths to reveal.


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