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Forgiveness
By Lola29 on 12/07/2008
Viewed: 401
Reviews: 3
Rating: No Rating

this is good 

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Written by rachelle1165  (12/7/2008 1:19:40 PM)

but i would try to limit your use of gerunds(ings)....perhaps:

Voices on the phone;
a dream, an illusion.
Asleep feelings awaken
Lost love forgotten
Scars duel, trying to heal.
Circle 'round each other
Like wounded lions
Talk in tears over broken pieces
and play ping pong
Bittersweet irony at this time
Find unconditional acceptance
On wings of passion

 

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Written by Lola29  (12/7/2008 8:19:57 PM)

I like it. Thanks.


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