Poet & Writing Community Poet Community
About Publish FAQ's Bookstore Free Poetry Contest
MoonTownCafe Home for Poets


  Search

Advanced Search
MoonTownCafe Home My Cafe Write Poems, Stories, and more Publish your Poems, Stories and Book My Friends on this Site Log-in
  Poetry & Writing ForumsFree Poetry ContestJournal

Read Reviews



Hope You're Happy (Hurt)
By L on 01/05/2009
Viewed: 385
Reviews: 5
Rating:

You are moving forward - eloquently 


Written by Lola29  (1/6/2009 9:40:52 AM)


yes I am...... 

No Rating
Written by L  (1/6/2009 11:24:16 AM)

thank you for the help and the listen

good rhythm and rhyme 

No Rating
Written by rachelle1165  (1/7/2009 4:19:36 PM)

but some grammatical errors...

"Your" should be spelled "You're",in the title, 3rd and 4th stanza...
"to" should be "too" in 3rd, 4th and 7th stanza...

in 3rd stanza, I would drop the word "come"...it throws off the line...:
I would also split up the last line:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Make a wish, blow out your candles."

Thank You R1165 :) 

No Rating
Written by L  (1/7/2009 6:08:03 PM)

Looks much better
Changed come to arrive in third stanza,
Would drop but I was saying we watch her come home and ignore when she leaves

thank you for your help and support

L

1 year ago 

No Rating
Written by L  (12/18/2009 1:33:17 PM)

...


Read User Reviews
Write Review
Report Poem

Add To Friend

Send To Friend
The Best Online Poem and Writing Community for all
 Members
   Username
Forgot Username?

Password
Forgot Password?
Not a member?
Sign up for free!

Premium Membership

  Newsletter

  Enter your email:
  Site Stats     Online members:0      Online guests:61      Total Users:23882      Total Poems:62963
© 2000-2016 MoonTownCafe.com. All rights reserved. LinksLink to UsPoet LinksContactPrivacy