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Over the course of distilled moments.
By Scout on 01/20/2009
Viewed: 521
Reviews: 9
Rating:

 


Written by amongsttheangels  (1/20/2009 8:09:51 PM)

very interesting, beautiful metaphors!!! last line might need a little changing...it just sounds abrupt to me...but keep up the good work!!

Thank you 

No Rating
Written by Scout  (1/26/2009 6:13:35 PM)

for your comments

I will consider the ending of it, I kinda liked it but perhaps you are correct, maybe it is a little abrupt, food for thought....

Scout

Either 


Written by rachelle1165  (1/27/2009 4:36:11 PM)

your poetry is becoming less abstract or im getting better at interpretating, lol...wonderful imagery and metaphors here...i personally like the ending, slightly abrubt it may be, but maybe that is where its power lay....
This has the subtle sound/feel of the old romantics...

"braided days
and knots of night

to untangle

again upon again
within again."


Hi 

No Rating
Written by Scout  (1/29/2009 3:56:30 PM)

Rachelle,

I suspect my level of poetic abstraction varies depending on where my brain is at on any given day :), although, the more you read someones work, the more in tune you become with the way they think

Thanks very much for your comments, I think, for now, I will leave the ending as is, I'm essentially happy with it.



distilled moments 

No Rating
Written by miamia  (3/1/2009 7:34:13 PM)

Scout: I love this poem and have read it again and again to find my my favorite image and came up with this:

You tasted
of mottled sun
and discovery.

That shows so much to me. You have a true gift, dear poet. - miamia

Thank you 

No Rating
Written by Scout  (4/7/2009 12:23:00 AM)

Mia, glad you enjoyed



Over the Course... 


Written by fairykisses  (7/17/2011 2:55:41 PM)

The metaphors and images of this piece are breathtaking...there is a timeless quality present in your words....like those two lovers are still lying somewhere in that perfect place loving. I felt the ending was amazing. It read like music to me.

wow 

No Rating
Written by Stephen  (7/26/2011 11:18:55 AM)

u can really write, i love this poem.

My hope for the poets 


Written by Unknown Member  (10/23/2011 12:20:44 PM)

Over time we all become good writers some of the time it hits us in the face when people complain..encouragement glues smiley stickers to our forehead so all cannot complain because we're that good..true to you i hope you get my smile.
sincerely, edpoet27


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