Poet & Writing Community Poet Community
About Publish FAQ's Bookstore Free Poetry Contest
MoonTownCafe Home for Poets


  Search

Advanced Search
MoonTownCafe Home My Cafe Write Poems, Stories, and more Publish your Poems, Stories and Book My Friends on this Site Log-in
  Poetry & Writing ForumsFree Poetry ContestJournal

Read Reviews



Tressure I Seek
By kewlstar on 03/04/2009
Viewed: 453
Reviews: 6
Rating:

 

No Rating
Written by JdSchooley  (5/2/2009 2:56:15 PM)

This goes along OK but the end falls flat.

 


Written by theoxygen  (5/3/2009 2:52:28 PM)

i like this poem cos it has a pretty universal meaning.
the only thing that confuses me is the title.
beautifully written though!

So it seems 

No Rating
Written by kewlstar  (5/4/2009 1:57:09 AM)

Yes, Jd, i woudl agree the ending does fall flat, its one of my early poems, therefore the quality is lacking. I hope to have improved much more since then, i may edit this poem and spice it up :).

Oxy: Well the title pretty much leads to the girl being his treasure :). nothing much creative :P

really loved stanzas 1-4 


Written by Nai  (5/22/2009 2:26:26 PM)

I'm glad you commented on my poem... i love the lines in this poem...

JD was right, but i believe you should end your poem with the fourth stanza instead of destroying a flowing thought with your second revision.

the fifth stanza is really just a trailing thought, a break. delete, move, make a new part


like a
I
II
III
you have the first (I) and the begining of the second(II).. try it, it won't hurt right ?


Nai :)

OH Yeah 


Written by JdSchooley  (5/22/2009 4:46:51 PM)

That really sails now. I am hot thinking the end is perfect, but it's mighty fine, just as it is.
Jd

Thank you 

No Rating
Written by kewlstar  (5/22/2009 5:30:47 PM)

Thank Nai and JD for reading, this is a really old poem, only edited it once. Sometimes i feel lazy to look back at my old poems and try to fix it hehe. I am more motivated to write new ones and interested in editing the new poems which i feel has better quality than my past poems :)

But thank you for reading and your comments it really helps :)


Read User Reviews
Write Review
Report Poem

Add To Friend

Send To Friend
The Best Online Poem and Writing Community for all
 Members
   Username
Forgot Username?

Password
Forgot Password?
Not a member?
Sign up for free!

Premium Membership

  Newsletter

  Enter your email:
  Site Stats     Online members:0      Online guests:52      Total Users:23882      Total Poems:62962
© 2000-2016 MoonTownCafe.com. All rights reserved. LinksLink to UsPoet LinksContactPrivacy