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Barrier
By kewlstar on 03/05/2009
Viewed: 648
Reviews: 4
Rating:

 


Written by cjkrieger  (5/29/2009 4:03:08 PM)

I can't help it... I'm a sucker for love poems and this one comes from the heart. There are 2 places I kind of get stuck
1.To shelter heaps> I think a better word other than heaps would strengthen it.
and
2. My heart wouldn't listen to the truth,
Which were real
I believe (& I may be wrong) it should read "was" not "were".
Aside from my nitpicking... loved it.

Ty 

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Written by kewlstar  (5/30/2009 3:06:47 PM)

Thank you Cj for reading, this is a really old poem i wrote it when i was 16 hehe, But yes your tips are nice, will look into it. Yea i never edited this poem hehe, i guess i will do it now :). Thank you for reading and commenting.

 


Written by Biggus  (6/2/2009 9:52:01 AM)


Thank biggus for reading :) 

No Rating
Written by kewlstar  (6/3/2009 11:45:29 AM)



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