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Found but Lost
By kewlstar on 03/05/2009
Viewed: 552
Reviews: 10
Rating:

 


Written by wickedhart  (3/5/2009 5:28:37 AM)

Short but filled with powerful thoughts....very nice.....

 

No Rating
Written by ladyJ  (3/7/2009 8:09:34 PM)

i know that feeling...

Thanks 

No Rating
Written by kewlstar  (3/27/2009 7:03:02 AM)

Thanks wicked and lady for the review :D, It is a great motivation to write more :)

 


Written by Losttothedarkness  (4/1/2009 11:53:12 AM)

I really like this poem and I can really picture the situation!!!Great Job!!

Changed line order? 


Written by logon9  (4/30/2009 11:34:19 AM)

I wonder if a changed line order would be better?

Never knew what life was, till I started living for you.
Never knew what friendship was, till I talked to you
Never knew what feelings were, till I felt for you
Never knew the importance of moments, till I shared some with you
Never knew the importance of seconds, till I waited hours for you
Never knew what a loss was, till I lost you forever.

Changed words? 

No Rating
Written by logon9  (4/30/2009 11:39:50 AM)

I wonder if a word or two would be better changed:

(1) Never knew what friendship was, till I talked to you
to
Never knew what friendship was, till I talked with you

(2) Never knew what a loss was, till I lost you forever
to
Never knew what a loss was, till I lost you.

This last line leaves your reader to do the work covered by "forever."

 

No Rating
Written by cowboycowgirlfan  (4/30/2009 9:59:27 PM)

this is so true i did the sme thing to some one i rally love but i did not know it

Thx logon :) 

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Written by kewlstar  (5/1/2009 5:01:44 AM)

Ty very much logon, for helping me out, i wrote this poem 7 years ago hehe. but with your help i could certainly improve it now :). Thank you.

 


Written by Onojin  (5/2/2009 10:12:07 AM)

know the feeling :( good write

 

No Rating
Written by kewlstar  (5/3/2009 4:45:33 AM)

Thank a reading, a simple tale for every lost one :)


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