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Raging Bull
By ladyJ on 03/09/2009
Viewed: 533
Reviews: 2
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Raging Bull 


Written by kewlstar  (4/13/2009 2:08:31 AM)

An aggressive poem, definetly a strongly inspired poem. Has some great lines and some "abrupt" lines, which effects the flow.

Awsome lines: "You clawed at my being, and you knifed on your name"

Soso lines: "You tore at the core of me" that last 2 words, "of me" kind of disrupts the flow in my opinion, perhaps a punctuation might do, else just take it out, we already know we are talking about you in this poem :). And for me the word "hacked" does not go along with "Shreds", or i am not able to portray the imagery your are thinking. Last line, "I am a long time dead" I am not sure if that "a" is necessary. But the last line is a great "master stroke" to end the poem :).

 


Written by TheDividedAngel  (4/15/2009 8:13:45 AM)



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