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Love in Your Eyes
By NoWeapon on 05/05/2009
Viewed: 430
Reviews: 5
Rating:

Love in Your Eyes 


Written by andraLiquori  (5/5/2009 9:08:59 PM)

Very nice - I like the ending of the poem better than the beginning, it just seems to flow better.
I love Isaiah 54:17

 


Written by InkOnSkin  (5/5/2009 9:48:34 PM)

A decent poem, charisma included~!

There seems to be a halt in the flow somehow, other than that I rather enjoyed it!

Do contribute further.

Hmm 


Written by kewlstar  (5/6/2009 12:13:27 AM)

Well it has lovely thoughts, i would sugges you break it up into stanzas and break up some lines into 2 lines to improve the flow, especailly the first few lines. Some lines are very literal, try twisting it. Hopefully that helped :)

Keep writing.

p.s: You are good, just polish it up :)

 


Written by TheDividedAngel  (5/17/2009 5:01:54 PM)


beaver 

No Rating
Written by peewi  (5/19/2009 1:30:10 PM)

if this is jessie helman u stink beaver man


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