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Promise
By zlobna7879 on 05/19/2009
Viewed: 371
Reviews: 4
Rating:

NSP 


Written by JdSchooley  (5/19/2009 12:19:50 PM)

Needs Some Polish

"Now,leafs
are falling from the sky." I think you want to spell 'leaves' as well later in the piece. And tiers(sp) means not the same as tears..

Keep at it the message is good, but it you need to correct these parts.

Jd

 

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Written by zlobna7879  (5/19/2009 12:24:23 PM)

:P
thanks,i'm really working on the grammar part ^^

 


Written by Onojin  (5/20/2009 3:17:56 PM)


 

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Written by Onojin  (5/24/2009 4:00:57 PM)

the cyclic nature of most things is hinted at through the mention of the seasons....in time u will be healed, don't know if that was the intention, but it certainly works well, the leaves are falling now, but one day things will be in bloom again :)


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