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"Alone in Love"
By katie163@verizon.net on 07/04/2009
Viewed: 422
Reviews: 6

"Alone in Love" 

Written by DesertBoyIan  (7/5/2009 12:22:20 AM)

Well written and so emotional ! Good write ! By the way, I've been there several times and I know it sucks !

Alone in Love 

Written by WmPhenn  (7/5/2009 9:00:14 AM)

So tragic this heartfelt verse. Very good write.


No Rating
Written by katie163@verizon.net  (7/5/2009 10:00:38 AM)

thanks desert and bill for the click

The agony 

Written by blogetry  (7/5/2009 7:31:56 PM)

of heartbreak creatively captured...needs a bit of revision..eg "...bleeds tears of blood.." is redundant and probably should be revised...otherwise good :-)


No Rating
Written by ANU  (6/3/2011 2:56:27 PM)

Love hurts...very relatable


Written by andy  (6/4/2011 11:31:02 AM)

Powerful stuff. Unrequited love is the hardest of all to bear.

I hope I am not crossing a line here, or going to sound pretentious and normally I never, ever suggest somome changes a line, but (and forgive my presumption) the line:

"I disappeared into the charcoal hue of the cold shadows of an endless hallway,"

I feel would benefit from changing to:

"I disappeared into the charcoal hue and cold shadows of an endless hallway,"

I Hope that you will take this as a suggestion, one writer to another, and not as criticism.

Kind regards

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