Written by Seth (10/23/2009 6:56:18 PM)
||I like this, but there is too much repetition. I'd try something like this:
Last night I was sad,
I was mad,
I hated you!
Last night I was crying,
I was dying,
I berated you!
Last night I was unforgiving;
Last night I was tired of living!
Repetition is a valuable tool to create a rhythm or metre for a poem, but I liken too much of it to a drummer who just doesn't let off the cymbal. Keep this in mind, and keep up the good works!
Written by Rull (10/30/2009 6:46:58 AM)