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Love is the greatest gift from above
By jeffsg on 02/23/2010
Viewed: 369
Reviews: 1


Written by mwhousemouse  (2/23/2010 10:28:06 AM)

"never forced pushed or shoved" is a very strong phrase.
the first & last four lines would be stronger if you structured so they stand out. then make sure they are present in the words of your message.
Your thoughts seem to float around not landing on your point. some times floating thoughts carry the message but here I believe your intent to be more directed. Some editing could fix. It is a good message. It just needs focus.

Thanks Michael

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