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Losing Love.
By montyfuss on 09/09/2010
Viewed: 296
Reviews: 2
Rating:

Losing love 


Written by daver  (9/14/2010 6:22:55 PM)

I can relate to this poem because i am going through some troubled times myself.
This poem for me is true,the night fears,self hating .The only good thing about the situation that you find yourself in is you can find some solitude in expressing yourself in words.

hmmm 


Written by Red Roses and Wine  (11/3/2010 2:08:02 PM)

The rhyme scheme of AC BD of the first three stanzas changes on the fourth to an
AD BC pattern, then the rhyme scheme on your last stanza becomes a little disorganized. And thought the message in the open may be effective the rhyme scheme doesn’t work for me. You had me fully until the third stanza. But then you lost me as a reader.

I don’t mean to sound harsh in my critic but candidly honest. Yet, I feel that with a slight revision you can have a nice gem here.


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