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destination death
By santhony718 on 03/03/2011
Viewed: 277
Reviews: 1

death's beginning 

Written by JdSchooley  (3/3/2011 9:57:40 AM)

I can see a real potential for what you have here. I see a construction problem where the stanzas or lines you have, bang about due to legnth and beats. That may not have been your intentions, but with the steady pace in the start it seems to want a rythem and flow. Well try it and see if it is an improvment????
pretty good so far (to me).......Jd

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